OK, enough of that
My apologies; I did not mean to leave that dream as the "first post you see" for so long. As I said, I do have good dreams, too, and - to balance that other one - I will share one that I had while I was pregnant with my daughter, Joanna. The following dream was actually part of a larger experience, which I will also relate. I call dreams like this one a "Joseph dream;" not that it is prophetic or anything, but I know God is definitely speaking to me through them.
Pre-dream info:
I was 37 weeks pregnant with baby Joanna. I had been having lots of “practice contractions” and they were at their worst at night when I was trying to sleep (go figure). This particular night they were quite frequent and pretty strong, and I had said a quick little prayer, asking the Lord to help me get through them. And this is the dream He sent me:
Dream:
I was in a church with several other people, and we were having Eucharistic adoration. I think the church may have been St. Williams, although (in the manner of dreams) it didn’t “look” like St. Williams. A very strange twist to the adoration was that there was a cup of the Precious Blood there, as well. I realize that is impossible (since the Precious Blood must be totally consumed during a Liturgy), but there it was in my dream.
At one point in the adoration, the cup was to be moved to the back of the church for some reason, to a special pedestal erected there for that purpose. And for some other strange reason, I got to move it rather than the priest (you can really see the dream part entering in here). After I had moved it, I lingered for a moment still holding the chalice in my hands: looking into it at the Precious Blood there in the cup. I was kneeling, which I am not sure how *that* was happening since the pedestal was high enough to be seen over the pews, but there I was.
We were singing “Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled,” one of my favorite songs. I found myself looking at this chalice and thinking to myself, “You are holding the blood of your GOD. How *incredible* is that? That GOD is right here, as real as He is in Heaven, and you get to touch Him, even in your complete unworthiness, because of His amazing LOVE for you.”
At this point, everything went into a kind of “negative” perspective (like a film negative), and the chalice in my hands began to grow, and I was groveling in front of the Precious Blood – while still holding on to it somehow – saying over and over again “Lord, Lord, Lord!”
The feeling of the REALITY of God’s presence there was so overwhelming that it seemed to fill my entire being until I thought I was going to burst into a million pieces. I was at once terrified, and full of wonder, and peaceful, and so many other things. I can’t describe it all. It was more than I could ever hold, because it was God’s presence itself. The sweetness of it was an agony; I prayed for Jesus to let me go because I am still so sinful, I just couldn’t bear it. I could even see the reflection of Jesus within the Precious Blood, holding His arms out to me.
I knew that He would never hurt me (except in the manner of the Divine Physician), but I did feel pain at seeing Him: in the knowledge of His great love and my knowledge of pains that I have caused Him by my sin, even (and maybe especially) in the knowledge of His great love DESPITE my sins. Fr. John Corapi said that he once had a dream in which he learned that God’s name is MERCY; I think I just had one of those dreams. Anyway, being God, loving me beyond my wildest expectations and allowing for my free will, he did release me, and I woke up.
Post-dream:
I was still having the contraction, or maybe it was another one, but my body felt so light and almost insubstantial that I hardly felt the contraction at all, even though I knew I was having one. I hardly felt the covers or the bed, I was still so enveloped by this sense of peacefulness and relief. I woke Mark and asked if he would scoot over, just to reconnect me to reality, and he did.
He sensed that I had had a dream, and asked if I wanted to talk about it (although he was concerned that it might have been one of my nightmares). I told him about it, and in the course of describing the dream, I inadvertently said, “When I got back” instead of “When I woke up.” I guess this dream had just been so real for me, even with all the impossibilities. But the feeling of peace is still with me, and I have a new appreciation of God’s love for us, especially in that He instituted the Eucharist for us.
Addendum: I wrote the above portion at about two in the morning, right after the dream happened. Then I went back to bed and had just regular dreams, woke up at the regular time, and got Paul off to school. I had not been to daily Mass in some time and thought it would be appropriate to go today, even though I would also be attending a Funeral Mass later that morning. God was apparently not satisfied with me simply *dreaming* of His love for us in the Precious Blood: today Fr. Ernie said a special Votive Mass for the Sacred Heart of Jesus, from which that Precious Blood flows!! I still don’t know why Father used that Mass setting, but it was very special for me. What a wonderful God we have!
Pre-dream info:
I was 37 weeks pregnant with baby Joanna. I had been having lots of “practice contractions” and they were at their worst at night when I was trying to sleep (go figure). This particular night they were quite frequent and pretty strong, and I had said a quick little prayer, asking the Lord to help me get through them. And this is the dream He sent me:
Dream:
I was in a church with several other people, and we were having Eucharistic adoration. I think the church may have been St. Williams, although (in the manner of dreams) it didn’t “look” like St. Williams. A very strange twist to the adoration was that there was a cup of the Precious Blood there, as well. I realize that is impossible (since the Precious Blood must be totally consumed during a Liturgy), but there it was in my dream.
At one point in the adoration, the cup was to be moved to the back of the church for some reason, to a special pedestal erected there for that purpose. And for some other strange reason, I got to move it rather than the priest (you can really see the dream part entering in here). After I had moved it, I lingered for a moment still holding the chalice in my hands: looking into it at the Precious Blood there in the cup. I was kneeling, which I am not sure how *that* was happening since the pedestal was high enough to be seen over the pews, but there I was.
We were singing “Do Not Let Your Hearts Be Troubled,” one of my favorite songs. I found myself looking at this chalice and thinking to myself, “You are holding the blood of your GOD. How *incredible* is that? That GOD is right here, as real as He is in Heaven, and you get to touch Him, even in your complete unworthiness, because of His amazing LOVE for you.”
At this point, everything went into a kind of “negative” perspective (like a film negative), and the chalice in my hands began to grow, and I was groveling in front of the Precious Blood – while still holding on to it somehow – saying over and over again “Lord, Lord, Lord!”
The feeling of the REALITY of God’s presence there was so overwhelming that it seemed to fill my entire being until I thought I was going to burst into a million pieces. I was at once terrified, and full of wonder, and peaceful, and so many other things. I can’t describe it all. It was more than I could ever hold, because it was God’s presence itself. The sweetness of it was an agony; I prayed for Jesus to let me go because I am still so sinful, I just couldn’t bear it. I could even see the reflection of Jesus within the Precious Blood, holding His arms out to me.
I knew that He would never hurt me (except in the manner of the Divine Physician), but I did feel pain at seeing Him: in the knowledge of His great love and my knowledge of pains that I have caused Him by my sin, even (and maybe especially) in the knowledge of His great love DESPITE my sins. Fr. John Corapi said that he once had a dream in which he learned that God’s name is MERCY; I think I just had one of those dreams. Anyway, being God, loving me beyond my wildest expectations and allowing for my free will, he did release me, and I woke up.
Post-dream:
I was still having the contraction, or maybe it was another one, but my body felt so light and almost insubstantial that I hardly felt the contraction at all, even though I knew I was having one. I hardly felt the covers or the bed, I was still so enveloped by this sense of peacefulness and relief. I woke Mark and asked if he would scoot over, just to reconnect me to reality, and he did.
He sensed that I had had a dream, and asked if I wanted to talk about it (although he was concerned that it might have been one of my nightmares). I told him about it, and in the course of describing the dream, I inadvertently said, “When I got back” instead of “When I woke up.” I guess this dream had just been so real for me, even with all the impossibilities. But the feeling of peace is still with me, and I have a new appreciation of God’s love for us, especially in that He instituted the Eucharist for us.
Addendum: I wrote the above portion at about two in the morning, right after the dream happened. Then I went back to bed and had just regular dreams, woke up at the regular time, and got Paul off to school. I had not been to daily Mass in some time and thought it would be appropriate to go today, even though I would also be attending a Funeral Mass later that morning. God was apparently not satisfied with me simply *dreaming* of His love for us in the Precious Blood: today Fr. Ernie said a special Votive Mass for the Sacred Heart of Jesus, from which that Precious Blood flows!! I still don’t know why Father used that Mass setting, but it was very special for me. What a wonderful God we have!
posted by Kathy Romer | 9:25 PM
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